Then came this overwhelming sadness that I couldn't quite place. But in the gay community, you don't need to personally know someone to grieve their loss. Some I knew from the scene, the rest I didn't. Our community is small, and I was a regular on the Florida gay scene for half a decade. My first reaction was of course, debilitating panic. I was at a pool party in Spain when I heard about the devastating massacre at Pulse. The gay club is where I met the eyes of my first love, it's where I kissed a girl in public for the first time, it's where I cultivated my personal style, forged life long friendships and most of all, found my people.

I, like so many of my queer brothers and sisters, grew up in the thick of the glittering, gay nightlife culture.